EEE-R-YANAA's

miss my straight hair do you?

2012-02-09T19:10:00.022+08:00

Hi guys! miss me? i know right. hehe so I've been going out quite a lot recently and splurged my money too much on food. sigh not only that; shopped too much too! left with pathetic ten bucks in my wallet. can you imagine spending over three hundred bucks less than a month.... wow in addition to that i'm not working anymore so life really sucks right now.

so today i had five hours of sleep before heading out with khalilah for her interview in the morning. i feel like a zombie, really. and so in the end, i couldn't join those who went to celebrate afiq's birthday. disappointed much and awfully guilty. regardless of that, hope they will have fun tonight!

ever since I've got myself an android phone, my computer received lack of attention. poor thing.

There's a whole lot more of pictures in my phone but will upload them on another day.

and anyone wanna get me a weighing scale? need to keep track of my weight because i think i grew fatter! *PULLS HAIR. shall find the time to jog soon.

anyway, happy schooling/ working everyone!

xoxo.

praises to god alhamdulilah

2012-01-31T14:50:00.014+08:00

hey there! Sorry for the lack of updates guys. my life have been extremely busy since i started working but not to worries my contract has been terminated........so i'm back! for more blogging actions. sigh i bet no one read this site anymore ha. oh well who the hell gives a fuck about that. so here are some bunch of pictures for some catching up! apologies for the different quality photos!

* Qoirool was under the bed for your information

I have many reasons to tell you why i'm back to blogging but i'll just tell the most important one instead. here it goes........ i just gotten into my dream course!!!!!!!!!!! damn i'm excited. it's kind of related to media/journalism so i wanna sharpen my writing skills before school! my eng is kinda dusty now so yeah.. thankful to those who are happy to hear the news hee so i'm gonna surprise my senior ( frm esss and future senior again ) he just couldn't stop promoting his school to me so oh well i guess i'll see him around soon! Also a million thanks to mdm noreha for pulling up my english. if it's not because of my eng, i bet i just have to wait for a miracle to happen. hope everyone enjoys their new school in the future! don't forget me ok. oh and i had the greatest shock ever when i found out that my crush ( kind of, currently i guess ) is in the same course as that ________! oh no screwed. ha ha no point dwelling on it.

so i've been sitting on this chair......kind of agitated.....well i received a text from the teaching staff saying that my enrollment package will be sent in mid feb and a few more things he stated abt the course and welcoming me on board! oolalaaaaaa

just a few words from me; crying is a good thing... i mean you will feel much much much better after letting it all out, agree? anyone needs a listening ear, i'm here!!! i know how it feels like to have no one. i know how it feels like to be replaced. been there done that. recently have been witnessing a lot of friends in a dilemma or encounter a few problems or maybe more than a few. i know i could do nothing but to be there for them. i am so random I KNOW RIGHT.

promises are meant to be kept so i shall promise to update regularly. regularly not daily lol. have a great day awesome people! :) much loves.

we meet again

2011-12-05T00:38:00.014+08:00

Why hello there, so much for updating after the 14th of November huh. even my senior prom was over! just look how fast the time flies, god's creations are just too wonderful and extraordinary. Life of an o level student has long ended, freedom you see. still trying to get myself to be used to the life without worrying about time management and all that, at least for now.

i have not much to say, enjoy your holidays while you can everyone!!

count on me like 1 2 3

2011-10-16T23:11:00.011+08:00

love you 2e5'2009 and

4e4'2011.

Hello extraordinary people, just wanna update you all that we, the most sexiest batch of 2011 have graduated from east spring secondary school. what could be possibly more fantastic than that? The moment that i have been impatiently waiting for finally came. mixed feelings. but one thing for sure, i am free, from all those bullshit, rumors, fake bitches and those fcuking faces that annoy me like hell no offence. but still, i love you east springians.

alright time is ticking real fast, Os are just few days away. let's persevere shall we.

updates will be from twitter.

see you bunch of lovelies after the 14th of nov.

heart pumping jaw dropping

2011-09-18T18:31:00.007+08:00

I am so dead prostrated, with the addition of tuition in the day. can't seemed to fall asleep no matter how long i close my eyes, because.....my mind is currently paranoid with something.

so yesterday i'v got my lazy ass off the bed at 7 to head down to esss sports carnival and support my son ( yeah right my son ) ( since he wanted me to come so why not ) i don't know why, i just did when i actually could get a good sleep for another four hours. gosh. and after all those humorous shrieking/laughter/encouragement from this lovely supporter ( got to be kidding myself ), hard work pays off although shark was really being an annoyance at that point of time.

seemingly guilty for not copping myself at home yesterday to study for the sake of jalan raya with ex yuminians. i reached home only almost 1am after taking a long ride home in a cab with the two gentlemen. laila's mom asked me, out of all the guys there, which one was my boyfriend so i totally gave her the 'what? no way' look and.. she laughed. sporting mother she got there.

the point is, her mom was trying to say that please don't become like her daughter, malay malay malay malay go for malay hahahahaha i couldn't stop laughing on how open her mom is.

enough about that beautiful day. time to earn back my mugging hours and burn the midnight oil.

note to self:

don't give a damn to what people say

don't give a damn on what they are talking about in front of you

don't give a damn about whats happening

DON'T fall in love

if they wanna make you jealous/envy of them, then that's their problem

O LEVELS IN 32 DAYS TIME GO GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOO

i was so sincere, what have you done to me

2011-09-12T22:47:00.003+08:00

I don't know what is the real purpose of this blog when i can't let out my true feelings here.

so hi readers, how high is your confidence that all these words on my blog are real?

to tell you the truth, i'm not even sure.

feeling so vexed and confused. tired of being happy. tired of laughing all the way.

i used to love school but what the hell is happening to this world.

i guess i'm done here. tell me, what is the best way to die?

broken heart turns into a massive one

2011-09-11T22:22:00.002+08:00

I can't help but to find it amusing on how people judge me. did you just call me a bitch? hahaha wow what a brand new information, i think you're too slow to even realize that. but hey, you broke into my privacy, you don't even know the story, then you wanna judge. so who's the bitch now? weird enough that this does not even bothers me a single bit because this helps me in making you hate me. make me your number one enemy, i'll be the happiest kid alive. and so wake up and change your mindset, you don't know me well and stop acting like you do.

being nice to someone you don't like doesn't mean you're fake, it shows that you're matured enough to put your hatred aside.

this is why i hate people. sighs. can't wait to get out of east spring.

shall do a proper post about on the fringe WCS at cathay cineleisure once photos are up. but for now time to face school and ignore everyone. i am lonely.

aim for my heart and break it

2011-09-09T20:51:00.004+08:00

On second thought, i don't think i'm uploading raya photos here. too much sexy photos to see, you might just get a stroke. so why don't all of you head down to izzwan's facebook and prepare yourselves for three ultimate albums of smokin' hot people.

let's just focus on the point that i totally wasted my september holiday a.k.a hardcore study break. let's sum up the week.

so on monday i had school ( you know that place, prison for students? ok ) went to the mall with thaahirah and slept all day after that. on tuesday, i skipped school. instead i went for jalan raya till almost midnight. ( you knew that ) on wednesday, i caught crazy stupid love with khali and faizul helmi ( too much of epic moments on that day gosh ) followed by thursday, i did not much of self-studying ( forced to ) in the end i got distracted by korean drama playful kiss. and today, friday i caught smurfs with beescares and ammald. am too tired to even move an inch.

tmr morning have to get my ass off the bed to meet ruqniah. ohgawd, well maybe i head down to the library alone after that. mhmm i'll see about that. and can't wait for sunday to come! hehehe

those peeps out there, who thinks that you are really in a bad state, well look at me, i'm worse than you. so chin up, beautiful people. let's smurfinnnnnn, OH smurfs was smurf-abulous! ^^

wonderful day laughing with the girls in the center of kfc.

current mood: fighting the urge to blog about emotional stuffs on blog or twitter. trying very hard to find a listening ear, just one will do.

just another girl

2011-09-06T23:00:00.005+08:00

I admit i skipped school today because i was completely lazy, instead i went out for jalan raya with 4e4 and 4e3 in the afternoon. And to my surprise, most of them didn't attend school either. rock on.

Someone please knock some sense into my head. this September holidays are meant for a hardcore study break and here am i, busy with raya and going out with relatives/friends. where the hell did all my motivation gone to? maybe i'm satisfied that my prelims were better than mid years but that doesn't really mean anything, does it. mhm guess not.

Today was so enjoyable, although it was really an impromptu one. and so did you guys saw my tweet! i hit my head against the aircon in the bus because i was hearing heels! ( too tall i guess ) and the rest were laughing like a bunch of clowns. not to mention those strangers in the bus who saw that incident. ugh there goes my raya glam !!!!

will do another proper post with raya photos. stay tuned.

Kalao aku itu girl ah, aku pon irritated sia PAKAI OTAK AH BROTHER

so hard to smile when you're actually feeling terrible inside
so hard to pretend because you can't let out your true feelings
so hard to keep it all inside because you have no privacy

always here when you need me

2011-09-02T00:23:00.005+08:00

I'm sorry i have to be like this, but can't you see through those smiles and laughter? i can talk to millions of people/guys but could never ever develop strong bonds between me and them because i know i don't wanna be declared as a girl who gives people false hopes. what a cruel society. maybe i should stop being so friendly. negative thinking, loneliness, screw my thoughts.

Hi there, its nice hanging out with relatives again, a whole lot of catching up. but one thing for sure, that we are very certain of is that everyone is getting old, everyone is growing up fast :/ The word 'old' doesn't seemed to scare me even a bit ( hey i'm only sixteen ) but maybe if i'm in my older relatives' shoes, it really might have freaked me out. mind those fat/ugly/unglam photos of me. it was taken nearly midnight. excused.

Teachers' day celebration was a bore! our batch was better. we did a much better performance last year. why oh why. what happened to esss! Long mark sheet= math and science = speechless. You know what i mean. and yes dnt coursework is finally done!!!!!!!!!! i am free!!! not.

i bumped into used-to-be-my-crush and was really lost for words when he said hello. omg i must have looked so dumb smiling like an idiot. kill me.

eid mubarak

2011-08-30T16:11:00.003+08:00

Dear God, i have been a very bad muslim. i've been wild. i did things against my religion. i've been rude to my mom. i lied. but the most important thing, i lied to myself and you. Please take me to the next ramadhan. Amin.

i've got my curls but the thing is that its not temporary. so good luck to me taking care of my permanent curly hair after being dyed so many times. such a healthy way to ruin my perfect hair.

so its the first day of raya! here i am glued to my seat in front of my mega clean desk, waiting for the arrivals of cousins, perhaps at night? same shit, different year. raya used to bring a lot of joyous and wonderful moments but now not anymore ever since late grandparents were gone. dad's side? don't bother asking me. the word 'dad' doesn't exist in my dictionary. i'm that sixteen year old kid who only wears raya clothes on the second day of raya. used to it, but still i really hope all those muslims out there are enjoying their hearts out collecting money! (':

enduring loneliness in progress, two more months and that painful time is up. i really don't wanna hold a grudge against anyone anymore because revenge and hatred doesn't get me anywhere. but still, i don't wanna make the same mistake; easily taken in by the wrong people.

last but not least, selamat hari raya! saya menyusun sepuluh jari memohon ampun dan maaf jika tersilap bahasa yang membuat anda tersinggung hati, harap dimaafkan. enjoyz.

keep those sorrows away

2011-08-27T07:07:00.003+08:00

Primary six racial harmony day ( i posted this before didn't i? )

will you be able to spot me? hmmm.

so i gave up tossing and turning on my bed and head down to watch some vids and blog here instead. i shall catch up with my sleep later, i guess or perhaps not.. gonna be a very busy weekend getting ready for raya on tuesday! tonight will be having spring cleaning in my room.. not to say my messy, but disorganized ( that will be a better word ) room.

i'm still having a tough time deciding if i should get temporary curls or not, when i'm actually going to the salon with sissy later in the morning. hmm decisions in life.. gonna get my shoes after that at town with ammald and beescares. busy day ahead and i'm still here wide awake. god bless me.

they say i've changed. now how did i change? i really think that people should mind their own fcuking business. sometimes people just have to get some time alone to have their brains think right. my main problem is that i don't know who to trust. i know people have been talking about me, i could see their change in attitude towards me, their difficulties in looking for the right words to talk to me without offending or hurting my feelings. thank you i appreciate that but i think its better to act normal and stop treating me like a pathetic lost puppy who just got abandoned.

sorry to say but this old lady doesn't date younger 'man'. so stop giving me all those shit like 'age doesn't matter' or 'he's matured!' or whatsoever thank you.

so now you think that all those things you've done to me made you turn into a real man already? ha you gotta me kidding me dude.

brah brah brah ther

2011-08-23T00:42:00.001+08:00

During iftar on khalilah's birthday!

I didn't realize it till now that there's pictures on my phone.

mhmm look at that helmi's face at the back. haha!

Harro hamtaro ( dedicated to mai best budz :) ok so quarter of prelims are badly done. I sense more coming and contributing to the word 'badly'. can i don't pass my science for my o levels hahaha i wish -.- dread of science lessons already, especially with biased teachers.

early in the morning had to face jailani's disappointment is us, disappointment in me. he just can't stop his powerful lecture on how unlucky the A2 students were and how effortless were the others. seriously dude seriously. how about more bro * inserts big amount of sarcasm here

not in the best of mood, been throwing tantrums since morning nevertheless had to constantly remind myself to smile and let the OTHERS see, no matter fake or not. note to self: fasting. mhmm 22 days of ramadhan passed! how fast. wonders of god is great.

Maybe i exposed too much of my weaknesses that people are taking advantage of it. i pity myself, for being stupid. you pity me? :/ me iz weak, don't bully me.

K SERIOUSLY I DON'T WANNA TURN INTO AN OWL. SHALL HEAD TO SLEEP.

my illusion, my mistake

2011-08-22T00:11:00.002+08:00

Harro friends of hamtaro. Last Friday marked the end of prelims, but the start of the last lap for Os. The nearer it gets, the more revulsion i have. Insomniac nights, tossing and turning ugh when the hell is this gonna end. i'm turning into an owl day by day.

To summaries up my prelims, just take a note that i am so sure i'm gonna fail my science very gravely. failing science since primary school is one of the bad habits i have, and never ever gonna have it easily get ridden off. knowing i have science paper the next day, half of the battle was gone.

lost quite a number of marks for maths, just hoped that i'll pass hist, because cold war and cuban missile crisis came out!! (:

The disheartening part is that i didn't get the marks i desire for mt o levels. you know me. i cried ok. Heart and soul was really hungry for an A1....though many had spoken; A2 wasn't that bad, and if they were me, they would have jump for joy. but not for me i guess. so back to square one with my dearest mr jailani. lucky me who scored distinction for mt oral, or else retaking is just a waste of both effort and time. just gonna work my hearts out, gotta get that A1.

Eng o level oral went well. indubitably well. ( a bit of reading got screwed up ) this proves i'm quite a bit of a talkative person. haha i must be kidding myself. not funny.

COME PEOPLE FOLLOW MY TWITTER https://twitter.com/#!/sesatandfound

be my fellow witnesses and prove other followers that they are wrong; my tweets ain't emo alright. why almost everyone said so :/ i am happy ok I AM HAPPY VERY HAPPY SEE ME SMILE NO TEARS OK.

so i fell in love. i don't know. i just did.

WITH CORNOR MAYNARD.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH kill me.

i have a weak heart

2011-08-13T00:19:00.014+08:00

PRELIMS HAVE OFFICIALLY STARTED. three hardcore papers in one day; i survived. Though i have no more confidence in chem already, i should really let it pass.. and focus on history instead! die. die. must. score. for. history. love you ms liu :/ and o level mt results are coming out soon!!! like... on the 18th of august. terrifying! seriously if no A1 i will resit for the end of year which i hope i don't need to.. sighs. hope for the best. so i did bullshit for my prelim mt paper and i'm prepared to face mr jai's nagging abt my quality of work. come at me brooo

Twelve days of fasting passed! Maybe i'm so used to not eating, this became much easier day by day. Just have to endure the humid weather and the thirst! Patience my dear patience. i strained my leg muscles. i can't run. great. btw and fyi! i find edwin goh is better than ian fang!! ugh what is wrong with you people.

eh its one month already! one month i survived without you. ahah. i would be lying if i said i don't miss you. but its so hard to come out from my own mouth so whatever its over bro

i can survive without you

2011-08-08T23:54:00.005+08:00

Awesome day in school for ndp celebrations and breakfast with my all time-fav clique of my life! And that laila sk can't stop checking in and telling the whole world where were we. Not surprising enough if we invite some stalkers for some treat! ha what am i saying..

So as you know although sec sch life might be the best years of your life, but deep in my heart i can't wait to graduate. i can't stand going to school with all those fake people and annoying bitches like five days per week? more than 8 hours per day? i feel like dying, really. i don't know who to side with, i don't know who to trust, i don't know who to depend on for the most honest opinions and i am just so tired of trying to be in my best shape in sch.

I still remember the times when we were so desperate for each other's presence unless..you tell me that all those feelings and happiness were fake too. but nevertheless, i am so glad to have the most awesomest pri & sec sch friends around me. love them all.

prelims around the corner. gonna really rush and sort things out with my pretty tutor during tuition on wednesday!

i officially declare here that i am totally in love with cornor maynard. oh god please let me meet him in person! hehehe mine.

broken

2011-07-31T21:15:00.003+08:00

I didn't know that curling my hair would be so fun, shall curl during raya !!!!! hehe head down to geylang serai with mom and sissy yesterday damn it was so packed, really felt that it was already the fasting month. Everyone was just pushing around just to get a good view of the raya gemilang event! but we could only be less interested in that because we were hunting for some dendeng!! yes after hours of walking, we finally found it at a corner in the end. hard work paid off.

Time really flies huh. First day of fasting month is just hours away, this will get me a step closer to god = something that i lacked of. May this holy month teach me to be stronger, better and be more patient with all the challenging obstacles i face. I just need air to breathe during this critical period.

I pray to god that you will be happier, i will be just as happy as i am, if you just leave me alone. i'm begging you for mercy.

i hate you already

2011-07-28T20:58:00.003+08:00

Goodness gracious! In a blink of an eye, it is almost the end of another tremendous week of school! Mind-blowing. And the never-ending schoolwork that keeps doubled up each day seems to be getting off-hand. Just two days, two days of rest, two days of mc, i already lost track.

Back to school, back to reality. Thank you class, thank you friends for the concern. Feeling welcomed, loved and getting hugs upon reaching school = totally touched. But no, not yet recovered i guess. My throat still feels itchy. Imma person who hates to eat medicine, believe me you will cry if you ever asked me to. Mom warned me too much health problems from me within this year. Just last april, i almost got warded into the hospital for not being able to swallow the medicine, but resulted in an injection at the end because i got no other choice .. well gotta start eating healthy from now onwards! pinch me if you ever see me buying coke. HAHAH.

I like to be straightforward, i don't like attention seekers seek attention on facebook. lol ok that's what attention seekers do right but the point is i don't like attention seekers on facebook, no i meant i hate it. Total hatred against attention seekers, really. just saying anyway.

a person's heart that have been stolen away is no different from a dead person. return me back my heart in one piece.

half of me is already gone, dead

2011-07-24T21:03:00.005+08:00

I am sorry that i have been staying away from a lot of people these days, i could only trust my best friends and at the same time neglecting all my friends from my social life ( meant it in real life, not the cyber world ) Take the word friendly away from me, i just could not afford another betrayal or heartbreak at this point of time.

I am thankful that i have such amazing friends around me, really. but maybe this time, they should let me learn how to stand on my own feet all by myself, no matter how many times i fall. Not having enough confidence, i know that. Not trying to say that i don't need help, but i do need care and concern. I'm from the human race, you too i suppose? support me please.

I should set my priorities right. if you read my diary, you will feel me. but too bad it is called a diary for a reason. Maybe a hundred years down the road, my diary will be found and kept in the museum, a history fact for the future historians to learn, just like Anne's frank's diary, a Jew from Germany ( i have been working on my hist content ok lol ). what the hell am i saying, as if my life is interesting as hers. ohwell.

I keep thinking, what is on your mind right now. what's in your heart. what's in for your life. i'm so curious please stop me.

I hope no one still reads this little crappy blog of mine.. seriously anyone?? please tweet or text me or something? :/

going strong and independent

2011-07-17T00:42:00.005+08:00

Ok so hows everyone! Hope every single soul out there is doing fine with their lives. Life is short. Be content with what you have, because sesat is here for everyone out there who ever needs a listening ear. My door will always be open, well... unless i'm asleep? ha kidding yo.

So i'm doing fine here ( well almost fine ) You know, life has to go on. ( god please i have to stop talking about this life shit and all ) Do you know that i am starving right now. i have not eaten a proper food since morning. talking about last minute plans huh. today was so impromptu.

Busy week ahead! Starting of renovation will be on mon, mt o level list compre will on tues, my checkup appointment will be on wed ( worst nightmare SAVE ME ) racial harmony at esss will be on thurs and heading down to flea market on sat with ma bitches! imma busy woman. now judge me. but guess not. will be shutting down my social life real soon. and the only true friends i will have are my goddamn books.

Just wanna let the whole world knows that my feelings for you were true and sincere. I didn't accept you back then just for the sake of accepting, its because i thought you were different. I chose you over another guy for a reason. in the end, you were only temporary. you gave up. i get it. but what happened to your forever?

when i hold on he just lets go

2011-07-06T18:53:00.003+08:00

It petrifies me how time flies in a jiffy, i could hardly breathe.

wanted to take a short nap but mom insisted that i should wait for maghrib to pass, so i shall blog while waiting. And i'm having period cramps right now, so really don't tempt me to kill you mofos.

Promised myself not to wear lenses to sch if i don't get enough sleep, and so shall i honor that promise. Besides, expired lenses aren't healthy at all. Speaking of insufficient sleep, was feeling lethargic today. i could barely open my eyes, problematic when i can't give adequate attention at all. #Most embarrassing moment; i said huh too loud during chem and classmates turned their blank faces to look at me. *hidesfacebehindthebook.

How touching it was when my wonderful juniors came up to me saying they missed me. It just reminds you that there are some people who appreciates you and that's when your whole world gets brighten up. with love.

shall nap now and complete endless homeworks through the night.

hell has no fury like a woman scorned

2011-07-02T23:47:00.003+08:00

I'm standing on a line between giving up and how much more i can take. i'm only human. i have feelings. i have insecurities. and my heart is getting torn into pieces.

For your not-really-related-to-you information, this dumb sesat has taken her o level mt oral yesterday and she totally screwed it up. Although jailani complimented early in the morning that i could ace my reading, my conversation is a goner. its a fcuking 'FOOD' topic which i should really have much to talk about but i guess i was really lost for words when my eyes meet that venomous looking teacher. i believe all that anxiety during lessons were worthless.

Missing sissy's ipad already :/ why must he take my honeybunch away why why why. and fcuk it nobody wanna watch transformers with me WHY YOU PEOPLE SO MEAN shall bury myself with ben&jerry choc fudge brownie like some lonely bastard.

despise 'love keeps going' taiwan drama. that nice girl doesn't deserve to be cheated!! ):

2011-06-23T22:37:00.002+08:00

HARLO. IT WAS LEE MIN HO'S BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY. SO SAY HAPPY BELATED TO HIM !!! HEHEHE. HE TURNED 24 OMG. ah still young don't worry. LOVE U MUACKS. ( is it me or he looks quite similar to jerry yan!!! ) Still remembered those sec 2 days where i fought with bee every time over lee min ho and kim hyun joong ( eeuw ) old times, old times. but good thing actually, we didn't fall for the same guy LOL.

ok so school is like starting in 4 days? and i'm not even halfway done with my essays !!! both hist and ss. talking about fast writer huh. puik! even a personal train from ms liu can't help me to write fast enough to complete one essay.. gonna exercise my hand from now onwards..

have to spend my weekends at home and chiong !!!!!! forever sesatandfound.

you know i care

2011-06-20T01:46:00.003+08:00

I hate uploading photos, they seem to take like forever. but i managed to upload these two to explain how i spent my weekends. I am so exhausted from all that walking, singing and don't forget about the weather. the heat was ahh indescribable.

I think my Saturday was spent more lovely and enjoying rather than my Sunday because there were so many epic moments + jokes on that very day. I was right actually, the lesser people, the more merrier it will be. Those moments and jokes shall keep between ourselves hah!

And i am here, falling sick with tissues all around me.

I may be selfish but imma human too you see, i don't read minds. I could only feel that your actions were just plain unreasonable and you were just being a show off.

I shall not bother about people who don't give a single fcuk.

just a dream

2011-06-14T21:50:00.005+08:00

Ok i know i'm late whatsoever, i turned sweet sixteen like five days ago? lol whuut. But yea i wanna thank everyone those on fb/twitter for the lovely wishes, not forgetting those dnt peeps and random people; who i don't even know, came up to me. so touched! * tears of joy. the first ever great experience having my birthday in school, not such a bad idea after all.

Secondly, to thank my fcukin' bicthes; beescares and ammal who made an effort to surprise me with a birthday cake and the picture frame ( pic up at the top ) for me! gosh made my day after the whole day kicking some dnt stuffs and made me look unglam :/ ohwell. what a pleasant day and wonderfull bffs!

Thirdly, wanna thank my family; sister and mom for that big celebration at Swenses, for my sweet sixteenth and hidayah azmi's sour twentyfourth. LOL. Though it was kinda embarrassing when we took all the attention of the people there when the waiters/waitress singing happy birthday song to us. * shy. and omg im too cute to be 16 please. whehehe.

Alright, hope you guys are enjoying your june holidays. And i'm stuck with dnt and facing the school every morning. can my life get any better. Currently having such hatred towards sharp objects because they leave scars everywhere my body!! ; small, medium, large and even those that can't be seen but i could feel the sting. ahh mothafuckaaa. Clumsiness made me hate myself more, especially when i keep losing all my money. whoever stole my money, may you get struck by..... lottery so you don't need to be that desperate to steal mine.

Its okay i should get over it. get over the fact that i lost over 30 bucks altogether. get over that i'm penniless right now, i don't own a single cent. like seriously !!!!! ah damn imma broke nigga?!

Do you know, that i have to start studying for other subjects instead of hist and doing dnt? ikr. i'm such a lazy badass.

Pompuan lain kau boleh reply, aku tak boleh. perangai setan. pegy mams.

next to you

2011-06-05T12:47:00.004+08:00

Good morning everyone! Currently having such an awesome weather on a Sunday but the thought of going to a wedding later on totally ruins it. i wanna cuddle with my pillow on my bed all day but guess not. Please continue to rain! :/

Did i tell you! That i am so broke right now and it kills me ( well almost ). And i'm only left with 12 bucks in my wallet, just hoping that i'll get more allowance on the 9th of June. Hmmmmm. I think i'm gonna stop spending money on junk food everyday ( maybe lesser would do ) Food cures depression but only for a while i guess.

Gonna start revision at 5 pm later and finish with all my hist essays before i got punched by my lovely rugby teacher tmr. ( heh i put lovely there for a reason you know ) K i found a very cool song from one of the boobasses' profile. and the title of that song is the title of this post. heh. can't wait to hang out w primary sch peepz.

Smiles can be deceiving too.

if you are being lied to means you are not worth the truth

2011-06-01T19:58:00.007+08:00

Hello to the month of June, a step closer to Os! Isn't this sex-citing, can't wait to graduate! So i decided to use this few minutes of time that i have before drowning myself in books ( like real only ) to revive my blog after days having trouble logging in here. Well i'm here in the end.

MT O's are way over. Did you know that i was screwed by mom when she checked the qn booklet only to found out that i answered most of the qns on the first page wrongly. ( FIRST PAGE ONLY) It fcuking scares me. There goes my A1 ........

My sister was back from KL few days ago. AND she watched nur kasih the movie without me!! * heart breaks to pieces. Gosh waiting for that movie to come out in Singapore is like waiting for me to reply your tweet. HAHAHHA takes forever.

Justin bieber & Selena Gomez pictures flooding my dashboard with their not-really-disgusting-but-quite-irritating pictures. imma jealous girl. wth.

Oh well, have fun partying with books sec 4s! School school school and more school :/

hungry in the middle of the night

2011-05-21T01:05:00.002+08:00

What a wonderful way to start the day. i meant yesterday's. its 1 am -.- so as usual i walked down my class like a boss ( always the last one to be seated LOL ) during morning assembly. and the moment i sat down i saw a cockroach crawling between me and shafiqah. and i was like 'ehhhhhhhhh!' people around me turned and the next moment, they were screaming. hahaha imma trouble maker. first one to spot that cute little cockroachy! I was lucky it didn't came running back to me because i think i will be the one running away screaming like a fcuktard.

Long mark sheet = my mt almost made it to band one. blessing in disguise, because if i did, i will be under mr jailani's class and definitely drop to band 4 hahahhahahahhahaa no no its not a personal attack no its not ! =p i got mdm sabz fcuk yea.

I realized i always used a very sarcastic and doesn't-make-sense-joke to reply to ammal and bee's smses ( which i never did to anyone ) and ended up getting scolded vulgarities, asking me to stop making them laugh like a fool especially when they were alone outside. its nice to know that there are actually some people out there are smiling and laughing because of you and suddenly you know who your true friends are. i know they are worth it.

And my conversation with bee today was fcuking hilarious. made my day! (:

oh oops my tumblr is a little off balanced today. nvm i'll reblog more funny posts next time to pay back for today. wink. stay tuned.

oh and how many people you said that to?

2011-05-18T21:48:00.006+08:00

People say

never underestimate a girl's ability to find things out.

hmm i did find out something

but no, don't wanna expose it yet

lets see how long will it go

i ain't a fool

Hows mid year results? :/ looking at those faces in school i knew it. so i am happy that i passed my humanities (which means i passed my fcuking history, fcuk yea bitches i own those who failed) but who am i kidding when the other subjects are ... hmm how do i put it. ohwell you know what i mean. mom will soon force me to seek help / study with cuzz.

i feel so harassed by someone and nobody is helping me !! LOL. instead that shit ting bee pingpong and aunt lucy all have to rub it in (especially during today's afternoon damn) what is the world becoming to !!!! help me )':

oh and the wheels on my chair just ran over my toe like a boss and i'm walking like a paralyzed duck at home with my little red dot feet and and the other red toe feet. so shiok -.-

don't regret when i don't give a fcuk

2011-05-17T22:01:00.003+08:00

This is shit ting, craziest bitch i ever met.

Sup ladies and gentlemen on earth, happy vesak day ! i don't really know what it is actually no yea nvm. happy holiday-ing for like a few hours more before school arrives! and when school arrives, your results follow too! so good luck everyone, and get ready a coffin for your own self! hahaha k may our hard work turns out to be fruitful!

k moving on! i had a haircut and the hairdresser cut most of my brown hair! this is more sad that someone dying! seriously ....

my foot has a little red dot. thats what happen you start being clumsy in the house. ouch ok.

People say gorging up yourself can cure broken hearts and depression. i don't feel anything, no difference but i feel that i .... am growing fat! ohno.

let the world wonder why you still smiling - i'm keeping this phrase in my heart forever because i wanna smile for real, not fake. i wanna be happy, for real, not fake. from today onwards, no one is worth my tears, not anymore. if someone says they love you, they will honor it and wont go breaking the promise that they made with your heart.

i thought you were different

2011-05-15T21:51:00.005+08:00

so today iryana sesat decided to be a plain lazy badass on a lazy sunday. i totally ditched my mom with my aunts/uncles/cousins after hearing that they are going to the wedding early. and their 'early' was coincidentally some time after i woke up. it will take me hours to dress up so i gave it a skip.

i logged into formspring yesterday only to found 30 over questions in my inbox, after months not checking it up. i tried to answer some but i gave up halfway and log out. its just so annoying. the only addictive i have is tumblr. my one and only dear.

worst part of sunday night : knowing that you have to wake up early for sch the next day. but ohwell positive thing is that you will have company from wonderful friends, if you have any. and if they even come tmr. hahhh ~

what if i say i wanna make a twitter acct just bcoz i wanna follow justin bieber, will it be a hell chaos? you never know. but i don't like twitter. so. ..

just a gentle reminder to myself and to all ( if there even any readers here ) mt o levels are coming soon! real soon! omg this is just freaking me out. i need a doctor doctor doctor. hahaha gotta get down to open up books of idioms!

have a blast monday!

you got no class

2011-05-14T00:48:00.002+08:00

Hello wello everyone! It was friday the 13th just an hour ago ( but i couldn't even care less ) and it marked the last day of mid year examinations! i guess all of you must have been enjoying the whole day.... like i did but my day was ruined at the very end. but no worries. sometimes you have to let the world wonder why are you still smiling.

I have been spending my time with love,family and bitches continuously and i need some free time for my self to relax! Today shall be it before i head down to some relative's wedding on sunday.

Ohwell have a good weekend!

knock knock

2011-05-05T00:05:00.003+08:00

' And im so tired tryna live up to other people's expectations of me but only to disappoint them right in the end ........'

once again

2011-05-01T23:36:00.010+08:00

Speech day was incredibly dull, quite. Now i know why they invited sec 4s to become the audience! but we were too awesome so who cares. I let my whole Saturday to be my study-day, when it feels good waking up at noon without religious class anymore! awesomez shitszo. unfortunately it didnt turn out too good, i only revised some of ss chapters while the rest of my time being haunted by the good shows on tv and daydreaming about the perfect someone. dayuuuum. but oh well thats how life is like - ups and downs through the hills, life is not featureless plains. LOL. fail.

Lovely Sunday spent with my pri and sec bffs of my life! What could i ever ask for more. Mid years are coming their way, gonna mug mug mug like never did before!

Uhm gonna be out with sissy tmr, hafta use the time i left wisely. Sucha long weeked, it feels so great! Have fun mugging beliebers!

Psps, im lazy to upload more photos, up on fb yea.

i got nothing he got freedom

2011-04-26T19:03:00.004+08:00

When i did my mother tongue paper, i thought of my mom. When i thought of her, i remembered about expectations. When i remembered about expectations, i have pressure. When i have pressure, i feel stressed. When i feel stressed, i feel like dying too. When i feel like dying, i really wanna die. Train me to die, will ya? Just when i wanted to find a glimpse of hope, he was sleeping so soundly. zzzzzzzzz.

Ok mother tongue paper was really crappy. topics that came out were so unexpected. me no like.

Moving on, never say never the movie made me miss justin bieber's concert more !!!!!!!!!! gosh he is just too cool to be a teenager like us. i just have to say it again, i have so much respect for him. *SALUTES the adorable boy. and those girls screaming and partying during his concert, i can't believe i was one of them.

bieber fever go away .....

still alive but barely breathing

2011-04-25T22:56:00.004+08:00

I MISS MY HAIR. LIKE TOTALLY. MISS MY HAIR DAMN MUCH. AS IN SERIOUSLY DUDE SERIOUSLY. I WANT IT BACK. LIKE NOW. ANY MOMENT NOW. BUT NO. FCUK NO. THIS IS SO SAD. LIKE DAMN SAD. I HATE SCHOOL RULES. LIKE REALLY HATE IT. DAMN IT.

Besides my hair, i have this really bad temptation to pierce back my third hole. but wtf. fcuk me upside down, what happened to my 2011 resolutions! wake up wake up!

I'm completely multi-tasking. talking to people on fb. msn. checking up on tumblr. and on the other hand, with my notes in front of the computer. peeping it through at the corner of my eye. haha! who am i kidding this is not gonna work. alright. how abt burn the midnight oil.

room alone again! how awesomez. but do you know that its kind of scary. heh.

have a blast doing your papers tomorrow peeps! so sexciting. hmmm

what am i supposed to do when i'm all choked up but you're okay

2011-04-24T20:55:00.008+08:00

IS IT ME OR THAT SMALL PART OF MY HAIR LOOKS BROWN? :D

Talking about hair, it just worries me that the condition of my hair is getting worse. Only because i dyed it too much. ah good job sesat. dye somemore dye.

Oh look another weekend has passed! And its Monday tomorrow which means another week of school! * sexcited mode on NOT. It really scares me that time is flying so fast right now i don't even have the time to blink. ok who am i kidding. and Tuesday will mark the first day of the mid year examinations. not forgetting i still have billions (just kidding) of malay idioms to memorise before that important paper! (its important to my mom, to me not really though)

So gotta let go of bieber fever. stop looking at his adorable photos. aw. someome should really slap my face right now. at any moment now..

sissy's on night shift! room alone! forever alone ......

Msn-off. Fb-off. Not-tumblr'in. Phone-off. just gotta understand that there's time i don't feel like talking to anyone.

celebrity crushes yet there will always be only you in my heart

2011-04-20T20:35:00.010+08:00

Bieber's concert was da bomb! Ok though i don't really like him that much before, i think i've fallen for him right now :O I have so much respect for him, he's our age and yet so successful, do you guys even have the guts to be like him? I highly doubt that. So stop saying he's gay okay. Pictures are coming soon i guess, i am just being my plain old lazy sesat. Uploading is such a waste of time. I already spent half an hour uploading all these.

Back to reality back to school. to the usual routine. I only took three common tests and all of them are not working ........... ohwell buck up time! Maybe i'll get back my motivation mood like i had in jan 2011 after this bieber fever. which gonna take awhile to let go.

Its Thursday tmr and the last day of school for the week! so we should get excited. i think.

Have a good Friday and a blast weekend beliebers!

oh look i'm pissed

2011-04-14T23:05:00.003+08:00

One week, its been one week i've been under medication. And finally i'm back in school thank god. But what da ya know, missing alot of lessons just brought me to the very bottom. I feel so stressed, pressurized struggling to keep up with those peeps in class. I actually crushed my chem paper notes while doing the hw given by ms chan after much realizing it that i don't really understand a single shit about chem. and now............ its crumpled. totally crumpled. :/

School's been so hectic. The thought of it just makes my whole body explodes.

I knw no one cares, no one gives a fcuk like i do, sometimes to people; but could you people just leave my mind, leave my heart alone, just for a few moment?

I just cant wait to be myself again, but no that will take forever i guess. who am i kidding. In a state that i'm in, not getting better at all how am i supposed to concentrate.

so you don't give a fcuk right, then why should i.

don't go breaking my heart

2011-04-11T22:27:00.003+08:00

Yikes, it reached seventy followers just a second ago. tumblr famous NOT. but fcuk yea, thank you for being there all the time when nobody did, especially during these few days of horrible pain.

Sesat is on two days mc from school yet again. Going to the clinic was terrible enough, but going to the hospital, worst of all. so last night i had my injection ): poor me. but on a lighter note, im proud of myself for being brave, just to relieve that horrible pain from my throat. I could eat and drink better now. I just can't wait to be myself again, eating all those delicious food and gassy drinks. Now i realized how i should treasure my wonderful life. Being cropped up at home, stuck on bed not moving like a dying person = fcuk it upside down.

im gonna miss alot of common tests and lessons. Mid years are coming. I guess it came at a really bad timing. there's many catching-ups to do when im back to sch on weds :/

nothing but hatred

2011-04-03T20:59:00.005+08:00

Imma happiest kid alive ~ From now on, i will see my dearest lee min ho before and after when i go to sleep. what could be more AWESOME than that! Every time i stepped into my room, i just cant take my eyes off that sexy wall. zomg so sexcited. he ishz just too sexay for meh.

I did simply nothing during weekend, so disappointing i guess. One day i was just waiting impatiently for sissy to reach sg and another day just lazing around with her whole day. but oh well, i feel so good with sissy back home! like finally! Mom been complaining like her usuals but look at all the fcuks i gave to her. =.='

Oh damn, i cant believe i let off my weekend with no revision at all ?!! Its April, which means one month closer to death. But fcuk yea once imma out of this sec sch, i can go anywhere out of country with sissy! So come on sec 4s and me, hang in there and we'll be alright!

Its monday monday, gonna get down to school on monday * sarcastic mode on.

same shit

2011-03-27T21:38:00.004+08:00

so i just took a bath at 630pm and my hair decided to be nice and obedient today. my hands were itchy for braids so here it is. its Sunday, the last of day of the weekend. are you guys ready for another dull intensive learning of school? i'm afraid i'm not. :/

i spent my lovely Saturday night with that annoying b by attending earth hour 2011 near raffles place. our arrival was welcomed by too much of scouts. (LOL) yup just too much of red scarfs there, i didn't much expect it till we reached. ohwell who cares right. it was a beautiful night ♥

Sissy is gone for Korea! so poor me being left alone for one whole week till she comes back. with no one to talk to in the middle of the night in the room. can't actually wait for her to come home safely with huge poster of lee min ho and souvenirs. but time will fly i guess. it'll be in a blink of an eye till she comes home!

Alright, i should start having early nights from today onwards, last week was the worst of all. late nights caused me almost late for school :/ i don't know about you guys falling sick at this time or whatsoever, but i have been having a really bad bad bad bad headache. is it me or just ... nvm.

have a good week in school.

a walk to remember

2011-03-25T01:11:00.003+08:00

I've always hated myself for not having enough sleep everyday, and to stay awake, i just have to constantly remind myself not to sleep while having thick contacts in my eyes or i just have to endure that pain when i opened my eyes. ( but only god knows how i feel when i'm fcukin' sleepy ). Speaking of contacts, it passed the due date. Imma land myself in big trouble.

I've been waking up later than usual routine for almost a week now and i feel guilty. poor sien have to call me every morning to rush me out. Well i guess the same thing will happen again in the morning later. Furthermore, sissy is on night shift and i have the whole room to myself. I can do all the fcuks i want. or maybe shouldn't be sleeping at all tonight. ohwell.

now i can't wait for Os. get this thing over and done.

homeworks.

i have homeworks.

leave me alone to die

2011-03-19T20:00:00.003+08:00

I just hoped that my hand will continue bleeding till i die. i wanna commit suicide.

So much for understanding...........

idgaf

2011-03-19T01:44:00.002+08:00

Why the fcuk am i chatting with that horny bastard at this time in the morning? I have no idea, no no idea. so much for debating with me, fighting for my boyfriend. in your face bitch.

Rebecca Black must be enjoying herself. ITS FRIDAY DUDE. i meant it was Friday hours ago. and school is reopening soon. dang. no. i was just starting to party. party with my foot. so many homeworks need to be done. and ss project will be rushed tmr morning, which meant later, a few hours later. i got so much catching need to be done in my sleep. hmmm. life is so wonderful.

i don't know why i feel so hyped up oh so suddenly. Sissy just fed me a cup of ice cream. must be it!

Alright, i need maa beauty sleep already. A tv reporter doesn't look quite nice with her eye bags in the morning. ( talking about ss project huh ) HAH.

15th

2011-03-15T21:38:00.002+08:00

I AM BACK FROM CAMP, NON CAMPERS. i meant literally back from school, the ' awesome ' motivational workshop. which is totally dry + tiring = sleeping. Job-week was the usual; entertaining residents with household chores, collecting money and being chased by dogs. same shit different day. i only collected almost 200 bucks for the two days before moving on to motivational workshop.

I have a very small dark red abrasion on my knee after sliding onto the floor ( forgetting that im actually wearing a skirt -.- ) just to fight for a couple of sweets on the floor. ikr, ouch. And my left arm was scratched by the coach today after trying to pull me out of the game of huddles three times in a row. i could still feel the numb. i am such a poor thing.

I had a surprise welcome home present from mom after 2 days of camp, which is three thick books of malay language similes, phrases, metaphors and much more. im not kidding alright. so much for effort getting a C6 for malay this term.

So much homeworks. so much things. so little time.

pressure is killing me.

its march

2011-03-11T21:13:00.002+08:00

HEARD WHAT HAPPENED IN JAPAN? huhu sissy is getting fcuked up at work because she is flying to tokyo in two weeks time. hmmmm im laughing my ass off at her, but at the same time praying.

Its finally march holidays but what can i say, march holidays are worthless. Totally shagged after half a day sitting like clown at the bedok stadium and preparing for jobweek camp tmr. more awesome with mot. workshop and asp waiting after camp. and bunch.of.homeworks. need to be completed.

My life is so wonderful.

Progressive book is out. I cant wait to show it to mom but at the same time, shivering. C6 for malay :/ what is she gonna say about that .............

Oh and i just got poked by someone i totally dontknow on facebook, which is not even on my friend list, this is so weird. i better stop poking back and be un-friendly. HAH.

Jobweek camp here i come. Hell time here, i give my self to you.

HAVE A COOL WEEKEND NON-CAMPERS

2011-03-07T23:17:00.003+08:00

NEVER IN MY LIFE I GOT C6 FOR MALAYYY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER EVER.

OHMYFVUKKKKKKKKKKK.

MR JAILANI. ME NO LIKE YOU.

BUT OK :/ at least i failed only one. hmmmmmmmmmmm

2011-03-06T22:19:00.002+08:00

I am racking my brains, where the hell did i put my first aid box. where where! i need my antiseptic cream so fcuking urgently! - inserts not so panic face

Oh well life is hard. i just survived my weekend without computer, at least until now. Its funny how i had so much to say in my blog moments ago and now i'm completely clueless about what to write right now. like i said, life is hard. I'm having ups and downs these few days, with the assurance of pimple breakout (not) which means monthly period has come to visit. fcuk my fcuking life.

I hope mom will get well soon, i hope sister will find the right path, i hope sister will hang in there, i hope school tomorrow will be good. i hope i'll be fine.

Have a good week, all.

2011-03-03T22:52:00.005+08:00

School school school. people people people.

me me me. getting completely annoyed and fcuked up over small matters.

you you you. thanks for the ditch. Walking away just means that you don't give a fcuk anymore.

us us us. whats happening to us.

You know i keep looking forward, waiting for the moment that you will ever text me, like how you did or you used to. now why the hell did i top up my prepaid so fast, just because of you.

The last text from you was two days ago.

The last sweetest text from you was four days ago.

If i tell you, im facing alot of problems right now, would you care more about me, out of sympathy or out of love?

Are you happy without me.

then why bother keeping me anymore.

watch me pretend

2011-02-28T21:45:00.003+08:00

I thought everyone in class would have Monday blues today but i was wrong, totally wrong. We were so hyper early in the morning, greeting all the teachers as loudly as we could. Repeating what mr samy said word after word, and saying yes to every sentence mr azuan tan said during p.e.

Gosh, i hope Mondays would always be like this. P.e was extra fun today. Imagine the WHOLE class playing soccer in the field (we had the field all to ourselves) , equal number of guys and girls in each team. With everyone's anticipation, it turned out quite well. And of course don't forget the screaming and shouting from all the girls. Some had their shoes came off after kicking the ball, some even got their dicks hit by the ball. LOL awesome bunch of people.

Everything went well today, except that i got almost burned during the fire drill. gosh such a warm weather. But i don't think i can sleep well tonight. I passed up my dnt folio without checking whats inside and god knows what shit i wrote. myohmy, it will be such an embarrassment tmr.

I told you how awesome my Monday was. Good start for the week, i think.

sleepy after crying

2011-02-26T23:45:00.007+08:00

So here i am again just recovered from i-don't-know-what-sickness from last Thursday, still not quite taking care of myself. Doc said to avoid cold water, spicy and fried food. And i was like is he kidding meh. HOW AM I GONNA SURVIVE. Swelling throat, fcuk off k byebye. Oh and i have been eating ice cream and drinking gassy drinks behind my mom's back. Huhu.

Its gonna be March soon. My last jobweek with oneida scouts is coming soon too. Time really flies and im missing my sec life already, which doesn't really include sec 4 life. Because all i get is peer pressure. Ohwell, did you ever get the feeling, you have so much to say but don't have the guts to do it. I have, all the time. Low self esteem. Shit happens, deal with it.

I love my friends ok. When my eyes got red, swollen after crying in school, they gave me a hug, asking me to calm down and comforting me that everything is gonna be alright. When they saw me in school after a day of absence from school, they will get excited and shout my name out loud as if they had not seen me for ten years. i should just get married to all of my wonderful friends around me. huhu. cheh kid. i still have a boyfriend to take care of.

Encore contacts are so fcuking thick. Its like 100 pieces of papers in my eyes. I still don't know why alot of people are wearing it. Ah.need.to. change to freshkon contacts next month!

Its sunday already. means school tomorrow. yay.... whipppiieeeee

once bitten twice shy

2011-02-22T23:11:00.005+08:00

Completely shagged for the past two days. Wondering why i keep waking up at 1 am, 2 am, 3 am, in the middle of the night these few days, when i supposed to have a good night sleep. Not forgetting that i woke up at 5am today for founder's day.

Ohwell, i still have alot of shit load to do tonight. guess burning the midnight oil with some hitler stories is a good start.

Ice cream can cure depression.

imma ate one from today onwards

or more that one per day :/

Ohwell. Irryanaa sesat wishes everyone a good week ahead!

no intention of catching me when i fall

2011-02-20T21:15:00.004+08:00

What a long week. Feeling so low feeling so down, insecurities acting up all over again heart's breaking up, into countless of pieces, so it called for a decision. I decided to pamper myself with some ben & jerry choc fudge brownie ice cream and some local cheese fries from all time fav store. so someone, kind enough please refill my wallet with some notes, as in real money :/

I really hope this month of February get over real fast. with all the shitty scout-uniform-days in school on Tuesdays? lord must be testing me. Full u on total defense day was quite enough accompanied by the warm weather, founder's day is coming. oh-god, in two days time. must be mad.

So ammal and me sat down two days ago for some serious talk. serious business. well not that serious, quite laughable though. listing down the names of the people we hated the most and giving them the most honorable nicknames ever in the whole universe. Its like what the fcuk have we sacrificed for? things we done not appreciated, efforts went down into the drain. and this is how we are treated. Its alright actually. One day you will soon realize those people who stood by you, are actually suffering, suffocating because of you.

I am burning with fury. Heck care with those bitches in school, heck care how they judge me. my appearance my hair my stupid face my how-long-or-how-short-my-skirt is how fake are my eyes how branded are my lenses/specs. you people just fcuk off, when you reach there fcuk off abit more, just a safety precaution if karma ever lay their hands on you ok. I will be there, sitting back, relax and study. ( while pointing out my middle finger to you )

Hmm talk about Sunday and Saturday night, i slept at 10pm woke up at 3am and awake since then. crazy routine i know. idk what the hell is wrong with me. lets just hope i don't faint of over exhaustion LOL. I don't want to care about anything, ever again.

Irryana sesat wishes everyone a good life ahead.

i just wanted you to be there

2011-02-17T19:07:00.004+08:00

Having lost touch with tumblr made me forgotten about things. am i mad? School has been chaotic, mom has been nice, teachers have been bitchy, friends have been missing and i have been moodswing-ing. right ok. i must be so dumb in my past life, that i'm so stupid now. oh wait i i'm not supposed to believe in such things as past life -.-

i took a bus home last night ( bag have never been heavier that before ) stupid couple can't stop kissing in front of me, and i was like forever alone. hahahhahahahhahaha -'-

Physics chem tests, gone case. pooof.

Secret i never tell anyone before : i keep a diary under my pillow. can you believe it? O__O

im cool

2011-02-06T23:52:00.003+08:00

I got two choices to make tonight. to flare up or off this stupid computer, forget everything and go to sleep. people do things in their own ways, not bothering about my feelings. you mad. you fcuking kidding me. ok i should not bother about you hell mates' feelings too.

its sunday. ohno monday in a few minutes. i had not even touch my purple school bag.

Mission for tomorrow: ignore everyone

as much as i can.

imma cry to sleep now.

OHNO WAIT. I WONT WASTE MY TEARS FOR YOU IDIOTS OUT THERE.

never ever

2011-02-04T01:00:00.004+08:00

Happy Chinese new year to Chinese peepz, including me k.

I did well in rotting at home today, nobody can beat me. I slept for hours, i comp-ed for hours, i ate for hours, i tv-ed for hours......... gosh been catching up with princess hours lately. i must be mad. am i fcuking kidding myself. wtf gotta study ! ):

Trying to figure myself out, what exactly am i thinking, what exactly i feel, what exactly i want. But it leads to nothing. Munching on the chips mind completely blank. staring into space waiting for some atomic bomb to fall on me and explode. i explode. When they ask me, how's sec 4 life? i answered, oh, you mean how's pressure? doing it's job very well on me. and if they ask, how are you. i will answer, oh no not good. i wanna let go of everything and just die.

I admit, i have mood swings during period. thats what my status is all about.

OHWELL, you get the hint. my facebook is fcuking alive once again. with the likes, comments, pokes, tags, its another boring website being reborn. yay *monotone.

useless and disappointing

2011-02-01T00:05:00.003+08:00

Raining kittens and puppies to start off the Monday blues. but as long as you go to school with awesome people, it will make your day right, NOT. someone was up to his sleeves this morning. try and make a guess who.

Raining during lessons = having the biggest urge to sleep, daydream about things .... and yes daydream. i was caught a number of times today because you know, from my facial expression you could see i'm daydreaming, in far far far away land. and of course i was caught because i'm sitting right at the front near the teacher's table -.- when i say i was caught, means i got called out. ah come on sesat wake up already.

i used to say this quote, ' words doesn't prove anything at all ' and i still do. because actions speak louder than words. when you say something, when you say you want to do something, for someone, you know you won't do it in the end. so might as well, no just don't bother saying it. because if you do, when you do, you just keep making false hopes for other people.

and when that other people's false hopes are dashed, they get disappointed easily ....

no one flirts like the way you do seriously

2011-01-30T22:11:00.005+08:00

loooooooook at my hair, at the bottom. so cool right short and long huhuuu. and haluuuuu. have not been in blogger for days now, i almost had a hard time logging in here because i forgot whats my password. hmmm. facebook has been successfully deactivated, for now. awhile i think. have been using bf's facebook in secret huhu. ikr i just exposed myself but who cares. if he's gonna kill me then bring it on.

Believe it or not, im typing this while using my osim usqueeze warm leg massager. my legs aching everywhere, after foot drill course yesterday. and i still have to run for p.e tmrw. omfg. spare me please. ohya full marks for chem quiz, passed my math test though i had no confidence, failed hist test though i studied. its a MIRACLE errr for the first half of the sentence i just typed before this. ha ok. tmrw is monday blues. wed half day comeon come faster i know you want to. cny holidays comeeeeeeeeeeeee to me.

I BOUGHT HAPPY MEAL YESTERDAY *tears of joy.

i chose not to

2011-01-25T00:01:00.002+08:00

i miss my long fringe/hair or whatever. come on HAIR PLEASE GROW FASTER.

Blogger has been upgraded how come i dont know! bloody hell. i came to know about it when im like halfway doing up the class blog hours ago, nah joke. only a few things changed. i was just being exaggerating. my bad. pardon me. Things hasn't been going too smoothly these few days ( which felt like decades ) im waiting impatiently for cny holidays where i can happily shake my leg k joke, that can wait till the end of Os :/

i am so sleepy and tired but here i am blogging my time away. i must be so dumb. wait i am. I cant wait to have swensens using the vouchers khalilah gave me. omg thiz iz sho fun. and yummyz. to the maxxxzxzxzz. AND TELL YOU WHAT. I am so proud that i finished up all my maths statistics worksheet. hardcore seriously. maths asp was so fun, had great time laughing while doing work with cool peoplez.

oh did i tell you that i love food than i love people

ohwell.

pillar of support, gone?

2011-01-19T21:52:00.003+08:00

Please if only i could stop the time for even awhile right now, the first thing i would do will be sleeping on my fcuking bed. but too bad stop-the-time thing does not exist in the world. the hands on the clock will just continue ticking and for all you know, its the next day already.

Having a cold war with my mom at home for a few days already, since i had a tight slap from that uninvited guest (from my life) till my ulcer bleeds like bullshit. ever since that, going home is like giving up myself to hell. this home does not fit the peaceful word anymore and it will never be.

Its 10 pm ohmyprada. And i am still stuck with dnt problem situations, not forgetting i have a long way of revision to go for history test tmr! please bless me god.

its time for auntum concerto! plus homeworkssssssss. (wait but today's episode is good, it made me cry so watch !!!!!)

at my wits end. giving up is tempting. crying is tempting. at this point of time, suicide too maybe tempting. no joke.

i was born on my birthday

2011-01-16T02:29:00.004+08:00

It is SUNDAY MORNING. which means MONDAY TMR = SCHOOL. so fast. Always at this point of time, i miss holidays. but fcuk it upside down we have o levels to do. boo.

Just to let you know, i have been falling asleep anywhere or should i say everywhere. once i sit / lie down on somewhere i sure to be sleeping after like 20.5 seconds LOL. serious shit ask my mom and sister k. wait i don't think they even aware of that since they were not aware of me in the first place so forget it. my bad.

Oh and its ulcer fever week. and its the biggest i had. ICE CREAM WAIT FOR ME.

so many things to do but so little time

2011-01-12T22:49:00.004+08:00

Hello internet. its been long since i met you! Tumblr i am so sorry, you have to wait. I am like the most busiest girl you ever met. School has been chaotic, exhausting, dull ........ even lenses could not help much in making my eyes wide open during boring lessons.

This home, should not even to be called as a home. i just don't like that term.

CCA, class comm, studies, boyfriend ~ its like standing at the very end, waiting for that moment where you know that you will definitely fall, you just don't know when. Lets make a deal, watch me fall just watch me. stand there and do nothing. Thanks for making my life a whole lot worse :/

encourage me to deactivate fb account !!

Can i have a day off, pweety pwease.

is it just me or ..

2011-01-05T22:28:00.002+08:00

Worst day ever.

Firstly, i cant believe school has started for 2 days already, so it means seeing those stupid bitches/losers in my school five times a week. no offence.

Secondly, its back to boring dull lessons till 2 pm oh yeah 2 pm.

Thirdly, today's percussion training was bloody fast like a zooming roller coaster. i had a hard time catching up. it really felt like i was chopping my own hands with an axe.

And fourthly, i was caught up in a heavy rain at 7pm and roamed around under the shelter behind the school for at least an hour. it was fcuking cold. damn.

Oh i just realized that my annoying neighbour ( which is also from my primary school ) was enrolled in east spring secondary as sec 1 this year! omfg. and he was so arrogant ( doing that on purpose duh ) like excuseeee zemuah who is the sec 1 here hellooooooooooo. haha he will get it from me, one day for sure! =p

I had not been on tumblr these few days. sobsobx. freaking tons of homework and shit load.

Why bother about those people who doesn't even care less about your feelings. wait those aren't supposed to be called people, they should be called ________.

write it on the sky lines

2011-01-02T02:41:00.007+08:00

Alamak i lazy to update.

Moving on, happy new year to all. Can you believe it, that i actually fell asleep on sissy's bed when everyone else was doing countdown to 2011, as in seriously. When i woke up, it was almost 1 am and my phone was spammed with whatever shit-happy-new-year messages. And there is one special message with a 'kambeng' at the end. wah thanks ah -.-

So i think i am so used to sleeping early at 9 pm plus and wake up at 1 am then sleep again at 4 am. school how? fcuk it upside down k. i promise to finish all my homeworks tmr. cheh fake. Malay cerpen is not even done yet. there is like 75% of homeworks still waiting for me. here i come.

Mom told me i should get another black hair dye before school starts, i said i have no more money on me so she should buy one for me instead and she gave me the -.- look. I think she told me this just because she doesn't want monster tay to be calling her again. i am so right.

Impossible - shontelle, fcuking great song.

(fyi) I update this because of kevin khor kai wen.♥

be ready bitch

2010-12-31T21:25:00.005+08:00

OLLO. I just cleaned my 3 wounds on my left leg and it felt great ( sarcasm please thank you ) It stings ouch. This is a souvenir i get ( or should i say souvenirs with the a'ss' ) from oneida's bbq retreat yesterday, wait not really. personally from haziq and romeo, for leaving me behind when we were cycling in the dark till i bumped into a lamppost and fell straight on my knees. woo cool story bro. I don't blame them though ( duh ) atleast they were caring enough to cycle and walk back slowly with me for 4.5 km (?) back to the bbq pit.

Oh its the 31st! My last post for my dear 2010. I will be updating next year k. lol its tmrw duh. HAHA.

I told my sissy that i'm glad i met her in 2010 and she gave me the -.- look. get it? hahah k nvm.

Moving on, resolutions ( or goals ) for next year!

Firstly and foremost, i wanna downgrade myself in 2011 ( for real ! ) Black hair for the whole year ( well at least till the end of O's ) No more piercings no more anything. imma gonna be the new nerd in town. wait for it.

Secondly, stay happy/positive no more wild imaginations no more stupid thoughts.

Thirdly, of course to stay healthy like the way i am now BUT to stop being so clumsy and fall every time and every where i go. ( especially during scout meetings hehheh )

Fourthly, is for my mom. not to be biased and hard on me the whole time. i feel so pressurized. ( hopefully she could give me less pressure before Os. )

Last but not least ITS A SECRET. weee hehe.

2010 has been a great year. well at least better than 2009. New class, new classmates, new friends, new cca, new cca mates, new ............ LOL. but whatever happened in 2010, it stays in 2010.

Oneida's annual general meeting today! Finally met those long lost peeps i had not seen since the start of holidays. Oh my hair is black omfg yesss. but abit red/brown but who cares -.-

HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ... IDK HOW MANY HOURS MORE.

i dont like fb k

2010-12-28T22:44:00.002+08:00

I want to MIA for few days, but will be posting my last post for 2010 on the 31st!

Had a little shopping & library-ed with ammal today, headed down to bff's crib for my clothes! I bumped into quite a number of people today, weird very weird.

and fcuk yea autumn's concerto airing on tv right now! that show is too good. ( to be true, lol )

Black hair tomorrow morning oh yessssss. ( nooo oh nooooooooo )

PERIOD CRAMPS LIKE A MOTHAFCUKER.

pretty girls are prettttyyyy

2010-12-25T00:17:00.004+08:00

Seriously irritating or what? I've been playing all afternoon, not to forget Barbie games too.

Sister is back! Played boggle with her, and came to realize that i need to improve my vocabulary. Tutor anyone?

All i want for christmas is you, to die. hahahahhahaha joking.

And autumn concerto made me cry non-stop. ):

omg, i just realized that fav aunt has gone for one year already. Sad much? Just take a good look at my history dec 2009. OH WELL. life has to move on.

one day i'll be good

2010-12-22T23:01:00.002+08:00

My face is a win. Awesomez.

I have been going out for a few days straight recently, and i am worrying about myself. You know school is opening soon in like about 2 weeks, its time to sit in one corner and study. And another part of me, or should i just say this straightforward, my hands are itchy to shop more. sad life.

Sister is gone for camp ( a camp at a hotel shouldn't be called a c-a-m-p! compared to the camp(s) i have gone to in my life with those mud bugs bites and all ) k cant be bothered with all these nurses 'camps'. She'll be back on Friday. 2 nights room alone. how magnificent.

Bff back from malaysia. meeting her soon to get my clothes back. cant wait though. and my fb no more pokes? where the heck has sampson gone missing. hmmmmmm

Back to black hair on the 30th. good or bad?

stay at home saturday, stay at home studyday

2010-12-18T21:02:00.003+08:00

Tell you what. I had dinner at hajjah maimunah's yesterday and the feast was awesome. Some kind of seoul garden's style only that it sells local malay food. yummyz to the maxz. There was some pasar malam held near geylang and they sell dendeng !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its very hard to find dendeng after hari raya fever you know so lucky me. yummyz over the maxz.

How i hate facebook i hate facebook i hate facebook. Its nothing but a internet drug which only ruins your privacy and let you see those things that you don't want to see but only gave you a heartache. As in seriously, what the heck? And tumblr is getting more and more popular, so there are more and more people following me, Again, privacy is being invaded. now i cant really post whats in my heart. sobsobx. ( cos people will know, so yea no way imma keep to maaself )

I have started on my homework. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND OMG, I'VE WON, ( the dare ) I'VE WON! I'M NOT A SORE LOSER. * TEARS OF JOY.

hahahahhahahahahhaha k.

six feet under screams

2010-12-17T01:42:00.003+08:00

You people don't know how broke i am. Devastating. School is gonna start soon, its like 2 weeks away. Terrifying. Had this last minute swimming plan with ammal this afternoon. k though i don't really know how to swim but it feels good, drowning your sorrows away. get it get it no? k nvm.

Moving on, my bff is MIA-ing in malaysia. sho shad. i miss her. cheh hahaha.

Its chua ahbeng's birthday today, and i'm on a dare. waiting for the clock to strike 2am to see who wins and who loses. but i have a bad feeling about this, imma sore loser )':

Have you people set your goals for 2011?

I have ( see imma good kid, euw no ) tell you next time.

Pokers cant stop poking me. this calls for a war! -inserts whateveryoucallit face

eustace

2010-12-15T00:39:00.003+08:00

Been years we hang out -.-

Caught Narnia right on time when we reached ehub at 4.25 pm + movie indeed soul destroying + I could hear fitri yawned extremely extra loud from the other far end. omfg + headed to eat at downtown + went for a night walk ( 3 guys 5 girls beat that ) by the swamp towards pasir ris park + quite scary, i'm speechless for that + so relieved we bump into a few joggers ( if there even such a word ) when we thought we were the only ones there + held laila all the way till we were out. phew + and we were out, safely yes + headed to T1 rooftop and slacked.

I am sho tired after reaching home at 2200, are you?

Earlier post = emotional breakdown.

sorreh.

2010-12-12T17:39:00.003+08:00

Look at my eyes, look at eyes closely. very closely. and closer now.... * grins.

K i don't know what the fcuk is wrong with you people. I did nothing wrong so why am i the one receiving those stupid lectures and sarcasms rolling in just by one minute, no wrong, just by one second. and what a splendid family i have, with a biased mom who just listens to one side of a story. great. so now i'm the rotten apple now huh. Money doesn't buy you happiness. if you really took those smiles and laughter after receiving the goddamn money for real, then you're a fool who don't know me. don't insult me with money. I can live without it. And its not wrong spending time with my own family member who i really takes her as one. yes i do get so mad at her, hate her to the core like shit but she still my flesh and blood. I just want a complete flesh and blood people together. i'll repeat this again, omfg fml.

where were you when my walls came tumbling down

having fun i guess

so now what

2010-12-09T21:48:00.004+08:00

K now i miss my my bestfriend. my bitchy annoying bestfriend

Sampson is one freaking funny guy. you people should meet him. He could make you laugh your ass out non stop/ 24 hours. and ok my facebook notifications are increasing minute by minute! and people keep posting on my wall saying they miss me. AW. now then want to come find me! HAHA k joke. AND THE NEW PROFILE ON FB IS NOT NICE. WHY YOU PEOPLE CHANGE. I DONT LIKE IT. NO. and enough said, my boyfriend is back from camp. woo.

lost yet again

2010-12-08T03:13:00.002+08:00

I don't like to wait for anyone, anything at anywhere.

I am so sick of watching love stories/ romance dramas recently. makes me more lonely and sad. Can't sleep at this moment. my phone have been too silent for almost a day. Athazagoraphia - fear of being forgotten.

I want to eat ben and jerry ice cream. anyone ?

lonely till thursday

2010-12-06T19:38:00.002+08:00

Finally i could get some freedom after long intensive percussion training for sing jamb yesterday. And yesterday's performance was a blast. Crowd from all over the world were awesome i tell you. super duper great experience. and i saw Mr president. yay. LOL. -.-

So we stayed on at sarimbun till 530 and roamed around to see all the scouts who came from different countries since the campers had activities. got bored too so we headed to find sampson for some entertainment. and he did entertain us as usual. Slacked at field kitchen, played heart attack with venture, and etc till 530 when the bus came. sho shad i wanted to stay.

The campers ( my boyfriend is one of them ) will only be back on thursday. devastating. i miss them all, him. k. i need a life. i wanna go out. and i having second thoughts of dying my hair because its only left with one freaking month and school starts. not this time i guess.

SPEAKING OF SCHOOL. wait till you east springians come back school and see how different our school looks like ! i hardly could recognize it when i alight the bus yesterday. sheesh.

always make the best out of the worse

2010-12-02T21:04:00.003+08:00

Back from 4 days PLTC camp. k i admit it was kinda fun ......

A special day out with sampson moshimoshi ! he came all the way from woodlands to tampines alone just for us ! ( subcamp reunion ) cuon scouts came down too aww. percussion practice today felt so special with them around. lucky i came down. i swear im gonna kill selwin sim one day, and his gang. not only he bullied me during pltc, he used my phone till it died today ! and he took nonsense photos with my phone. grrrr. you just watch out.

My facebook notifications are being spammed right now. pltc fever. as usual.

heavy heart

2010-11-27T06:01:00.000+08:00

OFF TO CAMP ): See you on Tuesday beautiful people. ♥

Insecurities

2010-11-25T21:36:00.008+08:00

'When i was a child, she always warn me; i only have two choices in what way i wanna lead my life; its either like my first sister or my second sister. bad or good. i came to realize after much thinking for the past years , i dont want to be either of them.
Please be less hard on me, mother.'

I dont eat breakfast, when i am hungry i ate lunch. then forgot about dinner. difficult to sleep, or wake up in a middle of the night when i am hungry again, just because i forgot about dinner -.- Conclusion : i only eat lunch almost on every single day + junk food. But i am getting fatter = when i wore my scout belt, it was damn bloody tight. argh, now what?

I finally slept on my bed last night after 2 nights of not doing so, but someone disrupt my beautiful sleep in the morning telling me we had percussion practice at 9. ( which only left with 30 minutes ) I gave up and went back to sleep; assuring myself i wont be able to make it in time. LOL. And today's rain was so heavy when i was stuck outside. I was like is the weather fcuking kidding me. but unfortunately no.

Fyi, i tend to sleep everywhere when im sleepy ( facing computer during late nights ) that was the reason why i had not been sleeping on my bed for the past 2 nights * HUGE GIGANTIC GRIN.

- she dosent care, he dosent care, they dont care. wake up sesat.

calling for JUSTICE

2010-11-20T00:07:00.004+08:00

HALLY POTLER AND DE DEAD LY HARLOWS .. was quite awesome compared to those which i watched before but i dont really understand at all. And it irritates me that the part II actually coming out in JULY ?! By the time it comes out, i think i could have forgotten how the story goes. And this movie should be considered as a horror movie, because it scares the shit out of me with the terrifying scenes accompanied with a huge blast of sound effects.

Class chalet was a bomb. (Y)

Current mood : bloody pissed off.

I ' CANNOT ' GO WHY SHOULD I BLOODY PAY. ARGH

15th

2010-11-16T21:19:00.003+08:00

Uhm k hari raya haji is just a few hours away and i am sexcited. cheh no. feels like going to the mosque and watch the sheeps being slaughtered but i think i will not be able to control myself and cry. haha sheeps are adorable ok. i feel so sad for them. Mom was busy cooking a feast ( for tmr, hari raya duh ) all day long, me and sissy was busy sleeping in the room all day long, as in like seriously. you dontknow how much she nag her ass off today.

K i am broke, money anyone ?

These 7 months have been tough and sweet, but i love you. ♥

2010-11-12T00:01:00.005+08:00

He once said that he wanted to see my face in two ponytails. hmm ♥

just go with the flow

2010-11-11T18:46:00.004+08:00

Alright, i admit it now. i kinda miss school, my class & peeps to be more specific. To be honest with all of you, i spent two whole days watching all the episodes of personal taste = LEE MIN HO HOT HOT HOT. I need to buy more Korean dvds to occupy my free time at home. And mom keep reminding me to study this holidays and not allowing me to work. like Fuuuuuuuuuu. She is trying so hard to find a private tutor for me. irritating.

To add in, my relatives are at my house now and mom is complaining to them about meeeeeeeee ): why would she even complain about her own daughter WHY WHYYYYY. k i endure.

Some part of me just wanna head to the saloon and dye my hair and another part of me just wanna follow the rules. Argh bullshit with all that rules i hate rules im gonna just prove to all that i can break the rules on my own and i dont give a damn for god's sake.

Oh and btw, when i woke up this morning, i woke up in blood. cheh i mean, my ear piercing was bleeding, my lips was bleeding, my hand was bleeding, and i was like what ? I guess someone killed me in my dreams ? but why my lips ? k this is weird. super weird.

im webcamming with nana dolly kthksbai

2010-11-09T03:49:00.003+08:00

K have been watching personal taste the whole night. Lee min ho is daa bomb. ^^^^^^^^^^

Finally i could feel the holidays, cos today is the last of school, for me.

i should sleep now kthksbai.

F.M.L for the win

2010-11-02T19:41:00.007+08:00

I have big eyes. me likey contacts. heeee.

Just to let you peeps out there know that i slept at 1 but woken up by the ringing of my house phone at 5 am. You can bet with me that the phone rang over 20 times. Its not that everyone was too lazy to answer, its just that the person calling was unwelcome, mom just don't wanna answer his calls i suppose. It totally ruined my beauty sleep, i was like tossing and turning on my bed till 7 am while the phone kept ringing. The world really need to come up with a word for men that are completely a total slut with no brains. As in like, he don't need to call us early in the morning, he could just give up and stop calling after a few times trying. omfg i was so pissed off, really.

To add more bitterness to my life, i am currently having my aunt flow after idk how many months. Totally cramp. And i think i had too much cold water for today. Three cheers for sesat.

I feel so bad. If i was born earlier, mom wouldn't have to go through all this. I would have start working by now just like my sister, so he don't need to bank in anymore money to my account. Gosh i shouldn't even born in this world :'/

I'll sleep early today in fact i should sleep now. if the phone rings again tmr, i will ..................... kthxbai.

Bold what applies to you

2010-11-02T18:38:00.003+08:00

My personality:

- I'm loud

- I'm obnoxious

- I'm sarcastic

- I'm cocky

- I cry easily

- I have a bad temper

- For the most part i don't like people

- I'm easy to get along with

- I have more enemies than friends

- I've smoked

- I've smoked weed

- I drink coffee

- I clean my room daily

My appearance:

- I wear makeup

- I wear a piece of jewelry at all times

- I wear contacts

- I wear glasses

- I have braces

- I change my hair color often

- I straighten my hair often

- I have piercing

- I have small feet

Relationships:

- I'm in a relationship right now

- I'm single

- I'm crushin'

- I've missed my ex before

- I'm always scared of being hurt

- An ex has physically abused me at least once

- I've told someone i loved them when i didn't

- I've told someone i didn't love them when i did

- I've been in love more than two times

- I believe love at the first sight

- I believe lust is more important than love

Friendships:

- I have a best friend

- I have at least ten friends

- I've gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend

- I've beaten up a friend

- I've been in a serious fight with a friend

- I can trust at least five people with my life

Experiences:

- I've been on a plane

- I've been on a train

- Someone closed to me has died

- I've taken a taxi

- I've taken a city bus

- I've taken a school bus

- I've gone bungee jumping

- I've made a speech

- I've been in some sort of club

- I've won an award

- I've spent 24 hours on the computer straight

- I've been in a physical fight

Music:

- I listen to R&B

- I listen to country

- I listen to pop

- I listen to techno

- I listen to rock

- I'm one of those people who play songs repeatedly until i hate it

- I hate the radio

- I download music

- I buy CD's

Television:

- I spend at least six hours a day watching television

- I watch soap operas daily

- I'm in love with Days Of Our Lives

- I've seen and liked O.C

- I've seen and liked One Tree Hill

- I've seen and liked Americans Next Top Model

- I've seen and liked Popular

- I've seen and liked CSI

- I've seen and liked Everwood

Family Life:

- I get along with both of my parents most of the time

- My biological parents are still together

- I have at least one brother

- I have at least one sister

- I have at least one step brother/sister

- I have at least one half brother/sister

- I've been kicked out of the house

- I've ran away from home

- I've sworn at my parents

- I've made my parents cry

- I've lied to my parents

- I've walked out when I've been grounded

Hair:

- I've been brown

- I've had streaks

- I've cut my hair in the past year

- I've dyed my hair in the past year

- I've been blonde

- I've had black

- I've been red

- I've been light brown

- I've been medium brown

- I've been blue/green

- I've gotten my hair thinned

- I use conditioner

- I've used silk therapy

- I've used hot oil treatments

- I've curled my hair

- I've straightened my hair

- I've ironed my hair

- I've braided my hair

School:

- I've yelled at a teacher

- I've had an in-school suspension

- I've walked out of class

- I've skipped an entire day of school

- I've skipped a whole month of a certain class

- I've failed a test

- I've cheated on a test

- I've helped someone else cheat on a test

- I've failed Art

- I've failed P.E

- I've failed math

- I've failed science

- I've failed another class

- A teacher has called my parents

K cool i found this on tumblr.

facebook is evil

2010-10-30T18:11:00.009+08:00

its funny when you find yourself, looking from the outside

i'm standing here but all i want is to be over there

why did i let myself believe that miracles could happen

cause now i have to pretend that i don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale, a dream when i'm not sleeping

a wish upon a star that is coming true

but everybody else could tell that i confused my feelings with the truth

when there was only me and you

k old song. was running through the ultimate guitar.com when i realized i lost my pick, again. sheesh. i intend to misplace it every time i have that inspiration. its okay. tomorrow k sesat tomorrow.

right ok, all you kids out there must be celebrating your lives right now because school is finally out but i am right here sitting down thinking how would i wake up on Monday onwards without mom waking me up at 6 am..... classes starts at 830 am i should be at least happy about it, but i sense trouble, struggle, groans or . much more.

Mom just read through my report book k her face = priceless. she killed me once she killed me twice she's gonna do it again like its dynamite. hahaha k joke. and i finally saw diyana jaafar in class today after so many weeks. my eoy exams are coming, ...... 13th november. omg. me no likey religious exams. lucky those who attended classes without taking exams example : khalilah. hmmm * envys.

i love lazy, boring, rainy saturdays. k im broke :'/

Hi b, having fun without me at the discovery center ? i hope you do, because its the only day you could forget me the whole day and have a taste a bit of freedom with your friends. agreed much? me no like waiting for your texts

back up

2010-10-25T19:15:00.005+08:00

Sup. The pelamin ( 2 pictures above ) effing nice i know right. i also wanna get married CHEH NO. And you know what, i just realized i did not sign in my msn for the past one hour. awesum. no wonder it felt so strange.

Finally i could get enough sleep after last Friday nice to hear that i got promoted to sec 4. sheesh close shave of retaining. gotta. work. hard. for. sec4 :/ Those retaking exams, goodluck. and wow someone said hi to me after school hehehehehehehheeeeeeeeeeeee. fcuk shut fuck shut upppp.

k enough is enough. headed to ammal's crib after school. reminded of that one day when the whole bunch of us went to her house after syf training / school and slept in the room. some on the bed some on the floor...... really felt like we were having sleepovers. cool huh.

I ate so much today. recess, mchicken meal, sister's mcspicy meal and lastly dinner mom bought for me. oolala gonna be fat soon. andandandandanddddddd i wanna dye hair IDC BITCHES/WHORES/SLUTS/FCUK NO I WANT TO OK.

its so hazy today

2010-10-21T18:31:00.003+08:00

i am scared of being so scared in my whole entire life. I am tired of smiling and laughing in front of everyone. i could die of acting couldnt even care less in front of every single person.

Nanananana dolly kittykitty meowmeow ( i mean diyana mukri ) text me early in the morning asking me to call her about something urgent. And the something urgent was actually ........ she was just as scared as me and she couldnt sleep. aww. Conference with the girls for quite a while and it makes feel so .......... i mean better ? ok not really. i am still as scared as i was till me wanna die.

My bump on my head is healing. WOO. good news.

Have been watching some swimming dramas recently. And i feel like soaking in the pool so badly. and drown. HAHAAHAH. ( k not funny just wanna entertain myself )

2010-10-19T19:54:00.004+08:00

I've pinned all my hopes on you history................... why did you disappoint me. I am so heart broken. You are such a heart breaker. k results are out. and they are bad. real bad. i need a coffin tomorrow. ouch. malay paper failed by HALF MARK. HALLLFFF MARRRRRK. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT OMG. but mdm sab say overall pass. but yea i dont like.

I hope my dnt folio pass with flying coloursssssssssss omg i wanna die, of this suspense...... and hi mr benny low you are my only hope to pass my hist. please i love you so much. muah.

forever barbie

2010-10-18T20:53:00.002+08:00

I LOVE MY LIFE. YAY. HAHAHAHAH BARBIE FTW. GOOGLE CHROME FTW.

k watched horror film bestseller today with love. i freaking scared. i covered my face with my hoodie. but no worries i did not scream. It will be less scarier if lee min ho was inside. HAH.

Results gonna be out tomorrow. erm need to get ready a coffin, prepare to DIE DIE DIEEEEEEE. Ok this is scarier than watching bestseller. HAHAH JOKE SIA. I hope i wont die in a tragic death.

And i have this small bump on my head because............ i hit the fan. i know ouch. everyone is so thankful to that fcuking fan. WOW. SUCH NICE FRIENDS I HAVE HUH. lucky no memory loss or not i am so sure they will cry till blood come out..... because i cant remember them. right ok.

to be continued......... with my Barbie games. life is so fun with her around sheeesh.

tumblr is more cute

2010-10-14T20:34:00.003+08:00

I dont wanna sec 4s to graduate FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! School will gonna be dead without them anymore......omfg thish ish sho shad. No more big sisters no more big brothers to guide us and we are on our own! *sobxsobx. Time flies, and i only have one more year in secondary school, one more year to O levels, 6 more months to our first year. HAHAH. no link.

Today was the last day we went to school and i could only spot farah hanani to hughugkisskiss bid farewell and wish her luck. only her! ouch how disappointing. but its okay till fate brings us ( me & sec 4s LOL ) to meet again someday. k shut up. I would especially miss my sec 4s ex guides and those peeps who have been close to me since day 1 in esss ( sec 1 days of course ) boo.

FCUK YEA FINAL EXAMINATIONS ARE OVAAAAAAAAA.

But tuesday ( the day where our greatest nightmare will come ) is not. - inserts about-to-die face.

TODAY DNT PAPER WAS EASY ^^^^^^^^^^^ YEA RIGHT MY FOOT. But i almost laughed out loud and get kicked out of the hall when i saw cikgu ham's face when he accidentally kicked haziq's socks. epic omgsxzxzxzz.

Another fact

2010-10-12T17:41:00.008+08:00

FCUK YEA I AM SO BORED. One sister watching tv, another one on the bed with her idiotic iphone 4. Sheesh i want school. On the other hand i should really start on my dnt revision now. Mechanism, structures, electricity.................... uh right so dead.

Deleting this blog will be such a waste, it contains sec 1s, sec 2s days, girlguides days, tough days and happiest moments ever. So i let it be, but wont be updating regularly.

Moving on to Tumblr

I have been sitting down here in front of the computer screen laughing non stop at those funny pictures i found on Tumblr. fcuk yea thish ish sho coolz.

Hari raya aidifitri is over. hari raya haji fever maybe ? LOL.

I WANNA GO ON A SHOPPING SPREE. SO BADLY * PULLS HAIR ORGASM FACE RUNS AROUND AND DROP DEAD *

i am from ONEIDA cheh

2010-10-09T21:02:00.004+08:00

FINAL YEAR EXAMINATIONS ARE OVER !!!!!! WOOO * SHAKES BUTT * \M/ .....except for dnt paper which is on Thursday, i got 4 days to study for it. RIGHT 4 DAYS TO LAST PAPER. AWESUM. We shall celebrate and live our lives, saying ehhhhoooooo baby lets go.

You know i have been reading too much Stalin and Hitler i think i am too influenced by them haha! cheh cant stop talking about history but speaking of which, i lost 8 marks for the paper. Sheesh. Hopefully... can pass. ouch. Tmr is 10.10.10 and i realized there's many couples getting married tmr as in like seriously whats the effing big deal SIA. There is like 3 weddings held near my block and i bet tmr gonna be so crowded and noisy with the kepam kepoom pap pap boom boom thing.

Oh wait. Tmr is my cousin's birthday.

Heh alright, just to let you people know that i have been addicted to you got me by colbie caillat. ultimate-guitar.com here i come, again after so long. Should thank Eunice ong for the website and her inspiration.

AND GOOGLE CHROME I LOVE YOU MUAH.

nightmare HAS COME

2010-10-05T22:16:00.002+08:00

HAHA HI. I have this huge computer screen in maa room and its extremely hurting maa eyes. hahaha k shut up. Tomorrow will be my greatest nightmare, history and physics paper on the same day. My god. And im still halfway through Stalin and Hitler................... have.not.started.on.physics. SOBX. After Friday, i shall not burn the midnight oil ever again, it is just so hard to wear the bloody contacts in the morning when feeling super sleepy.

Ok time to continue my date. HITLER FTW. PLS GO EASY ON ME TMR. I KNOW YOU LOVE ME MUAH I LOVE YOU TOO HITLER MUAH MUAH. K joke.

hi sesat

2010-09-20T15:15:00.010+08:00

Haha hi. Can you believe that my computer die on me. F so much. I can see khor kai wen from here......... hmm hahaha. School is freaking long today but i never expected this day could come.

All this while i have been pretending, pretending i dont know anything, pretending i dont mind but actually i do

( like duh ) i found out today some people seen through me. And i really grateful to those who actually asked me how i feel, am i okay and all those stuffs today. I felt closer to them, closer to my classmates who support me. Had great girls talk with cenli liqing khalilah. I feel more better actually. Thankyou.somuch.

I am not unreasonable, i'll let this go on till the day i die from cannot stand it any longer? although the rest asked me to speak up but i dont want to, ( truthfully is i dont dare ).

Oh and selamat hari raya to all muslims. hari raya concert today was quite a blast, but i like.

And maybe its a good thing my computer die on me, i could use this chance to get away and start stuDYING. k thanks for the motivation.

I will be back.

stronger, better

2010-09-05T00:22:00.004+08:00

Hi im so proud that i went back to religious class today BUT there were only like 11 students turned up for the class. Throughout the whole lesson, 5 were sleeping, 2 were half dead, 3 were daydreaming, only 1 was listening. If you are smart, you can guess which category i belonged to. * HUGE GIGANTIC GRINS * Mom was back from work so early and i didn't managed to get my nap before campfire. Can. you. imagine. how. exhausted. i. was.

Guess what happened when you were too dependent on someone and suddenly you were on your own, facing the dark streets alone, feeling so terrified.

private blog to the rescueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

7 more days

2010-09-03T23:27:00.004+08:00

I regret of not sleeping after pre dawn meal in the morning just now before school, instead i used the computer and saw shafiqah ( si anak suhaimi tu ) online. haha ok no link. I WAS DAMN SLEEPY IN CLASS. Tian shen went like

" iryanaaaaaaaaaaaa why so sleeeeeeeepy "

Ok as you know 31st Aug was the teachers day celebration and i went back to yps with hanafi selamat after ift told me that they were still there waiting for us ( so i went like aww HAHA ) So yea finally met maa sidekicks after like 467829452424584 years ? k just kidding.

Today the last day of school and the malay students were wishing each other selamat hari raya cos its just one week away. haha epic. but cute, especially during the last 2 periods of Mt with mdm sab. And FCUK YEA I AM CURRENTLY LISTENING TO HARI RAYA SONGS. * eyebrows upup. haha

The nearer it gets, the more fear i have.

Ciaoz.

sex for life, no

2010-08-26T21:07:00.005+08:00

LESSONS are getting boring. Boooo. Mdm sab gonna be back tmr for malay class since yog has ended ohmagawd. No more sleeping in malay class anymore for this week. But today was epic i was like shouting to haziq " LAST ONE TO REACH MALAY CLASS WILL SING " and i ran away, then he ran and then everyone ran. when we reached atrium then we realized, we were like eh oh ya cher not here run for what. haha get it get it no ? suddenly at second floor, shafiqah went " what if suddenly mdm sab at classroom ? " look here look there and everyone started running. hahahahha epic uh 3e4. ok fine at last mdm sab was not there -.-

I dontknow how many days already my tears broke my fast. monday, tuesday,wednesday.... today got maa infection back yay but i shall fast tmr. i also got flu but i heard the uncle donwstairs ringing his ice cream bell and i couldnt stop myself so yea......... woohoo.

when you really feeling down, when you really feel like you're struggling, when you feel so suffocated, when you feel like there's no one there when you want to cry, when you think you lost everything, when you only have yourself to depend on ( ok fine i stop ) trust me, ice cream really works.

Iryana sesat is still recovering from emotional breakdown. I use private blog, no public.

Sorry for inconvinience caused.

With love,

ME ME ME.

someone pull me out

2010-08-23T22:32:00.004+08:00

First two lessons of the day could kill the crap out of me. chem test and math test omg math test actually not bad, i passed ( lucky cos idk how do haha ) but........... i got 2/40 for chem test, copied BT's answers. i am so proud of maaaself. Oh and chem please say hi to physics cos im gonna fail science so badly.

Monday bluessssssssszzzxxzzz )':

Imma self centered and narrow minded person. So sorry to all for that.

" They want to take advantage of me, im no substitute, im no dog of yours. fcuk what other people think but im gonna do it my way.They wanna bring me down, but sorry no way. "

I dontknow how many times i got betrayed today. So............ disappointed.